In my reinvention era.

Almond Butter Blondies, Ham Bone Soup {Crockpot Recipe}

If you look up reinventing your life online, there’s a wealth of information because it’s a very common search. Folks are looking for ways to change things, at 50, at 60, at 70 and so on. And here’s me, right on time, looking and searching for how I can do the same.

I’ve already shared with you that I’ve decided a new career move is the first step in finding my spark again. While I’m not ready to retire, I’m definitely ready to leave the career I’ve called home for more than half my life.

Dammit though, that hasn’t been as easy as I thought it might be.

At first the Universe was nudging me, Time to move on, a perky voice whispered in my head, try something new! But now it’s giving me a full on throat punch telling me it’s time to get the hell out. With each passing day I feel the pull to leave. I come home exhausted and overstimulated, instead of inspired and fulfiIled, as I once did. I thought that I was being fairly quiet about my state of mind until I got a text from a friend (and former colleague) recently,

I lost my light at the end and I strongly suspect you have too. I still remember when you said to me, “You just took your life back”. It’s time to reclaim yours pal.

The truth is, long ago I actually chose my college courses based on what a friend was taking. I didn’t want her to leave without me, and so I forged ahead into an education and career that up until that point, I had thought nothing about. We left home and went to school and that was that. I was hired before I even graduated, a mere baby, and the rest is history. Don’t get me wrong, I’m super proud of what I’ve accomplished in 30 years. I give 200 percent of myself every single day and will until the day I’m gone. Most days, I even do it with a smile and a sense of humour.

But as I’m reflecting on what I want now, I know that my current employment isn’t serving me as it once did. And by serving me, I mean for all that it provided for me over the last three decades: as a single mom, as I was building my new marriage and home and even as I was actively pursuing other creative avenues. I have a lot of gratitude because it gave me the means to do all that.

It’s the job I’ve always done but it’s not who I am now.

But it’s scary to leave a security blanket you’ve held on to for so many years. You can’t leave a good pension job! people say, my parents included. I know they will forever worry about my future and it all comes from a good place. And sadly, that’s probably what’s kept me there for the last 5 years.

Pension-schmension, I think now. I’m losing myself at rapid speed and a pension isn’t going to save me.

So here I am. This restless, uninspired grown woman, trying to figure out what my story is now. Throwing out enough resumes to cover a football field and hoping something sticks. Spoiler alert, the job market is extremely challenging and these letters go straight into the abyss and no one responds!

Want to hear the crazy part? That 30 year career is only ONE line on my resume at the very bottom of the page. Because even though I’ve loved so many parts of it, it’s not me anymore. I have so many skills outside of my current career and usually I deflect when people tell me that but dang it, I DO. I’m only choosing to highlight my passions this time around and all of the things I’ve learned while writing and editing, reading, researching and creating. Sideline things, that I always did part-time because they filled me up and brought me joy. I’m ready to slide those things into the spot that’s going to light me up again.

We’ll see where that takes me.

Have a great week friends.

Renee xo

PS If you are also in your reinvention era or know someone who is, I would love for you to leave a comment or share this post!

Almond Butter Blondies

If you want a simple, fudgy, not too sweet snackin’ bar this is your go to. It’s similar to a cookie bar but much softer and fudgier. It’s made in ONE bowl, in less than 10 minutes and the perfect afternoon snack. These don’t last a day in this house. Trust me on this one!